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07. Xzibit – 1983 – lyrics from Xzibit album Napalm (2012)

Xzibit ft. Trena Joiner (xzibit's mother)

I had the write this in blood, because the ink wouldn't stick
I saw five to six million but, yo, that really ain’t really shit
It was supposed to be different, we was supposed to ride out
But tumach shot his girl, then shot himself in the mouth
Then the steady game formed, but very soon fell apart
‘cause when you just doing art, with no loyalty in your heart
It's like catching alzheimer's all these niggas forgetting where they’re coming from
Had to slow it down, wait a minute, what we running from?
This what we’re supposed to do, here’s what we supposed to be
I hated MTV for trying to play me like a mockery
But that don’t bother me, I just fulfilled my fucking contract

Small price to pay just to get ya piece of mind back
Mind back, backfire, assassination of my character
Just to make some million's off America
My younger sister, Erika, just adopted a child
My older brother served fifteen, he made it out
Even though my father loved me, I ain’t seen him in a while
Had to fight my baby mama, bitch, give me my nigga now
‘cause He's running out of time and I need him to understand
The way of the superior man I built a brand
Niggas talk about my taxes, I done paid Uncle sam
I’m surviving ‘cause the mind's eye's crooked in the hand
 
Heartbreak, disappointment, my mother died when I was nine, I just wanted to join her
Nah Mr Joiner, you get to California, I got something for you to do

It was like I was anointed
Resurrected, found my purpose, I remember Me and Dre, being nervous when I would kick my verses
I was virtually worthless
My whole life was a circus
I was sleeping with serpents
And I thought it is worth it
Got a call from Paul, told me shit wasn't working
Exchange words, told me tell me that shit in person
He probably told EM, and by the way did he said it unapologetic twisted made about him
I seen Slim and he said he didn’t recognize me
Was it that or did he let another man define me?
I don’t know, but now I gotta get this all behind me
Follow my calling when I used to follow niggas blindly
 
I wish I had a better relationship with my uncles
Blood relatives I could turn to when I’m feeling trouble
And talk about my struggles
My uncle Johnem, he only put me on the phone with different females
And this is such a such, nephew, tell me, what’s up?
Ain’t even ask about Tremaine and Gatlen growing up
Fuck, I drink it all and I smash the bottle
Self medicated numb, but I'mma feel it tomorrow
It feel like pain and sorrow was like a second skin
But now that pain is gone I got my second wind
Only the strong live long, you better settle in
I’m fighting forever, I will never let the devil win
1983, that’s where my journey begins
I searched every word for stregth and only find it within
This for me and my kid, still dying to live
Living life to the fullest ‘till I see you again



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